What is Tantric Sex

I hope you have read the page “What is Tantra”. The principles of Tantra are the principles of Tantric sex:
GRATITUDE, ACCEPTANCE, KINDNESS, LOVE and SHARING.

What is the difference between Tantric sex and “ordinary” mainstream sexual practices, described in popular manuals on “great sex”, “mind-blowing sex”, “hot sex”, or between any advise you can get from traditional sex coaches, doctors, psychotherapists or sex therapists?

The main difference is attitude to orgasm. Everybody around is concerned about orgasm, about that pick after which you feel sleepy, tired or just empty, but you still want it and all around you is saying: " You have to have it!"
Read please my article “Orgasm and Ejaculation” on my new website www.newtantra.com

Orgasm is desire. Desire never gives you the sense of balance. As soon as you have a new car, you want a newer one, as soon as you bought a beautiful dress you like another one.
Such with the orgasm. As soon as you come you want it again. But you can’t! And this is sad for you. Your body, only your body, which does not understand emotions but only has reactions and reflexes, tells you to stop your desire for the moment to give it chance to recover. So whether you have orgasm or not, deep down you are always sad, if not strait away, but in 5 minutes. Or you become physically cold, not sensual, like being empty. You do not have any more all those emotions which inspired you to lovemaking. IT IS TRUE! YOUR LOVE TO YOUR PARTNER AFTER YOU HAD ORGASM IS MORE LOGICAL, MORE IN THE HEAD RATHER THAN IN THE HEART.

Tantric sex is not against orgasm, but Tantric sex is not about orgasm, Tantric sex is not about any desire at all. Tantric sex is a way, road, you walk slowly, peacefully, connecting to another person emotionally, physically behaving softly, carefully, gently.

It is like walking through the forest on a sunny day. Birds singing…butterflies fluttering around…flowers’ smell makes the head light…blue sky popping through green leaves…What is the point to run if you were going to enjoy the forest. Your partner is this “forest”. If you “run” to chase orgasm and when you had it it’s similar to be like a hunter using the forest (your partner’s body) for his small selfish aim, sometimes even being cruel to it. Sorry my being strong in expression but as a woman I personally was many times emotionally and physically hurt by “mad” and uncontrolled actions towards my body when the man I had a relationship with at the time was “on the way” to his orgasm. On another hand when I felt the same desire to come I clearly understood that at that particularly moment I did not feel in my heart gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, care of yourself and others. My body was taken over me. My partner disappeared. My instinct became a boss and after it got me to come I felt nothing but tiredness, sleepy mood and no wish to make love for several days after. No wonder, I have been running!

But, you do not need to sacrifice anything in Tantric sex. Let’s go to the forest again. In the first case, in chasing the “prey”, you have missed the whole beauty of the forest. If you walk through it slowly with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, care of yourself and others in your heart your body would become relaxed, still, obedient to your control over it. Orgasm is a peak. So “the forest” can lead to the “mountain”. Go there! But again slowly, with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, sharing. You will start to rise, up and up, to the “mountain”, but do not run, enjoy the beauty of the “view”, keep connected to your partner, remember it is your partner who is “the forest”, “the view” and “the mountain”, enjoy his/her energy, his/her love, trust and devotion to you. Watch it! Watch it with gratitude, acceptance, kindness, love, sharing. Then, when you reach the peak you partner will reach the peak too, at the same time, like your other half, like part of you, like the whole you.

Tantric sex is the art, like music or dancing. Your aim is not to come to the end of dance or to hear the last chord of the song. The song is beautiful, note by note, and dance is enjoyable, step by step. Look, there are all sorts of different elements involved : sound, words, movements… Also, it nice to try to become a song writer or a choreographer and then you would appreciate the process of creating piece of music or dance as well as the final result. Such is tantric orgasm. During this state many waves of sweet vibrations reach through the body to the brain and create sense of peace, harmony and fulfillment in expressing love and connection to other person.

We can easily understand the description, but this is only logically. Lots of books give techniques on how to master your sex life into Tantric sex. But, body does not understand logic or words. Body has only physical memory, reflexes, which could be developed or changed only physically. Every human body is completely different when it comes to reflexes for sexual pleasure, especially the female body. Read please my article “Unimacy-Tantra” on my new website www.newtantra.com.

My work is to show you the way to develop your physique along with understanding Tantra in general. If you start to go down this road there would be much more chances of finding real happiness and fulfillment.